as usual i'm anxious and quite uncomfortable with standing still... financially, i'm unsecure. i need a job in order to meet my goal of having rent money and saving to go to cuba in december. my savings is a joke. and, after a year of being out of college, i still struggle with successfully budgeting my money for food. oh, and i'm addicted to retail. corporate america is so tempting - to have a steady paycheck of more than 1200 a month is a dream. i'd love to be able to save hundreds of dollars a month. buy a condo. each at a good restaurant once a week. and embrace my passion for beautiful shoes. but the 9-5, 40 hr a week concept is a nightmare. thus, i stay satisfied with my current position. i have a great apartment. i've taken several trips this year alone. my car is in good condition and ready to take me anywhere my heart desires. i need nothing. i'd just like the security of being able to save money again... i'm trying to be cheap again. i left old navy without buying the two, very cute pairs of capri jeans. i didn't make the planned run to target to buy containers to organize drawers and closets in my apartment (my obsession of the moment).

our generation is so impatient. we want everything in the moment. i remember the strangest concept i've ever heard from a financial planner: waiting until u have enough saved to make purchases. i've never seen such a thing done. sure my mom always paid utility bills and the mortgage from her checking account, but a car? a vacation? clothes? it's interesting that so many of us are so in need of immediate satisfaction that place ourselves at the mercy of creditors (who charge a ridiculous amount of interest) that wait a year to buy big screen tvs, laptops, and furniture... even more frustrating is the need for success. here i am, 22 years old, and i want to be a guy-sheftall. i want to be publishing, lecturing, tenured, and traveling the world. i want to start a program that provides a new and profound approach to the intellectual development of the next generation. clearly, i'm not ready. i just wish i was - or at least a little less anxious