back in the U.S. of A

i cried when i left cuba. what's crazy is that i expected the trip to be horrible. i thought i'd spend five weeks in a cramped apartment, afraid of bugs, and watching dvds while counting down the days. instead, i met amazing people. learned a lot about myself. rediscovered music outside of dirty south. experienced bliss. realized that my spanish is limited (note: RUN to a spanish class and start studying the structure of the language). and laughed for 33 days straight.

being back is a definite adjustment. standing in the continental airlines at cancun made me fill physically ill. walking around the corner and suddenly being surrounded by starbucks signs, dozens of types of magazines and gum, and taned/braided/super-self-conscious people was too much to take in at once. then i remembered all that coming year is going to bring: studying for exams, applying for fellowships, writing papers, working, and being stressed about money again. but, with the exception of the last part, i love my life. i am incredibly privileged to have great friends, family, and opportunities.

now part three. i moved apartments the day after i returned. martin and broke up. it was my idea, and i did it because we've spent far too long trying to figure out how to "fix" things... we had only been together for a year and a half. clearly, the communication had failed and i'm too young to allow my self to stay in a place in which i'm unhappy. my mother is visiting me this week. tonight, i'm having dinner with one of my favorite people in austin. i'm leaving for atl on friday. i feel like i'm starting something new and i am SO excited!


p.s. i'm going on a "man fast" for awhile. right now things are all about me...