i was on the verge of tears... and ready to quit...

i've done a lot in my 24 years, but i'd like to give myself permission to just stop - at least for a few moments.

i'm in the process of studying for these exams - 25 books from finishing my reading list of almost 150. academia is isolating. and unhealthy. i've realized recently that i don't really know myself outside of my work anymore. twice in the past month i was asked if i had any hobbies... i always thought of my research as my hobby... it is, after all, my craft. but the problem is that there is little difference between my research and my (future) career. i don't know what else i'd like to do with my time - social activism? can that be my hobby? (my friend said no). well i don't know what else to do with my time... i read, i work, and i go to class. that is my life right now. and after it is over, i will probably take a short break, watch some tv, maybe even go to the mall... and then go back to work, research, and class...

aside for the occasional night out, i don't know what to do with my free time...