in the eye of the beholder

so lately i've noticed that i've become increasingly angry (yes, moya, you are very right). at first i thought it was part of my adusting to austin. then i assumed that it was a part of being a grad student. but i kept thinking-- no, i'm not quite hitting it on the head... then it hit me: I AM SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED

this frustration is only increased by the fact that my boyfriend is in atlanta, and infidelity is not an option. not that i could if i wanted to... there are only ten black men over 21 in austin. (side note: is this topic of discussion politically correct even within the territory of blogs???)

so while i was originally going to write another angry blog, i decided to save that for later and pay tribute to my current mental state. i'd like to acknowledge just how bad it's gotten here in the "atx" (like the atl... i think it's stupid too).

what i mean is that, once you stop looking for this generation's denzel to walk around the corner, you realize that there are "attractive" men everywhere. "attractive" is a very subjective concept anyway. take my recent encounters for example:

1. there is this very cute, very tall and slightly dorky white boy in my cohort who i keep seeing at my favorite coffee shop. he seems very straight-laced from the outside, but a recent conversation revealed that he's a little shy and awkward. i find this to be incredibly sexy. ...actually, i'd be attracted to him anyway...
2. there is a Black grad student in the music department who has been one of the most welcoming people i've encountered since beginning the semester. i met up with him and another friend at the club last week. he is a textbook nerd, but he's still cool; he talks about classes, practicing for performances, and mentoring students a lot, but he also likes dirty south music. plus he has a cute little butt, and when i saw a cute outfit that was very proper but casual. and an an abercrombie hat...i'd probably be attracted to him under normal circumstances also
3. last night i went out with a group of people who live with my friend, including a seemingly lame white boy. his overwhelming lameness diminished greatly after realizing that he was one of the friendliest people i'd crossed paths with all week. he even made me laugh with his unapologetic dance moves to the yin yang twins. later i thought, "maybe i could take him home..."
4. even a big boy, with a black dress hat and matching bead on his cornrows, becomes cute when moving and shaking across the floor walkin' it "like a dog" to music that only Black texans have ever heard of.
5. right now i'm looking at a punk-ish guy outside with tattoos covering his arms and a lip ring. something about that scruffy, bad-boy look keeps me from focusing on the book that i've been trying to read for the past several hours.

do me a favor, if any of you run into any attractive Black men in your neck of the woods, could you send me a picture?