i told him that i didn't believe we could be together without me being in pain. part of me doubts myself; another part knows that - at least for now - i did what i had to do... i had worked hard to pull myself out of the depression that our relationship had brought on. and i had become well again... learned to be happy even. and, for the first time in months, i was having fun and embracing life as an adventure without feeling the pressures of getting married or having babies. i was caught up in the moment of life and it felt good. ...then he showed up expecting things to resolve as normal. not only was i not ready; i had begun to expect other things in a relationship (like adventure, being happy with life, being spiritual rather than a sarcastic atheist)... and i couldn't "go back." so we fought for more than two weeks. and i got fed up with trying to communicate my needs (like prove to me that you want me in your life by making time to take me out on a date). he wouldn't. i got fed up. and by the time that he realized he was being selfish - it was too late. so now i'm on to reclaiming my happiness and enjoying the beauty of being alive and wonderful at 26. i am in the hands of God and the universe. pray for me, lol.